Unequally Yoked Spouses Club (cont.)

by **ChurchGirl** on Tue Jul 10, 2007 6:02 pm

Ruotsher's first post!!!
Read that FAITH!!! Believe in the unseen.

You know guys - It may sound child like but if you just BELIEVE that God has already saved your spouse at His own time - you can REST in that.

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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 9:08 am Post subject:

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Wow!! I can't believe I haven't seen this thread before!

I WILL JOIN YOUR CLUB!!!

I can empathize with probably every post on here, although I must confess I have not read them all.

After my first husband and I were saved back in ~ 1980 or so, Satan viciously attacked us, and he ended up leaving me and our 1 and 3 year olds, for our 16 year old babysitter.

I seriously backslid as Satan continued to attack me, i.e., married men in my own church started hitting on me..........

Ultimately I met my current husband. We fell deeply in love with each other, and though I knew he wasn't saved, I couldn't believe God would bring us together if He didn't have a plan. So I married Ken. We've been married for 19 years, and had two more children together. Even while trying to lead him to the Lord, I continued in a back-slidden lifestyle, with my non-believing husband.

I continously tried to get him to go to church with me, and occasionally he would. One time out of sheer frustration, I convinced him to say the sinner's prayer with me. However, years passing, I could see that he was not saved. He would not discuss God, Jesus or the bible. Getting him to church continued to be a challenge. I finally realized and admitted to myself that he was not saved and continues to this day to not be. I too, have cried many tears of sadness and frustration......... There have been times when it has gotten positively ugly between us, but knowing that I deliberately disobeyed God by marrying an unbeliver, I knew I had to stay with Him until God told me to leave -- which He emphatically has told me NOT to! I was finally given peace by God when He made me realize, as you all have said, I must trust Him for this, as in all things.
I continue to pray for Ken. And I do believe that I am seeing the Lord work in him, in small increments.......yet satan is always there in the wings waiting to attack.

My husband is accepting now that Jesus is my first love, and he is content to take second place. He witnessed our two daughters' baptisms recently, and he appeared moved by the tangible presence of the Spirit.......

He even lets me speak of prophecy being fulfilled without walking away from me in disgust. He still is hard to get to church, but we have recently found a new church with an AWSOME music band that he really enjoys listenting to. and he sings and responds during the service.

Praise the Lord..........I know He will answer my prayer, in His perfect timing.

Ruotsher's first post with the Club.
_________________

by **Operator** on Wed Jul 11, 2007 11:25 am

I'm so happy right now - I'm crying tears of joy! I'm at work too - so I'm glad no one has walked by...because I don't want to tell them I'm not working!!

I'm so happy - this is a HUGE answer to prayer!

by **ChurchGirl** on Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:41 pm

This is the kind of faith I am talking about.

http://www.patsysmiracle.com/

by **ChurchGirl** on Fri Jul 13, 2007 8:26 am

I placed a request in the prayer request section. But, I had to let my club know that the enemy is attacking us fierce.

by **kat** on Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:15 pm

I can totally relate to Ruotsher's post!!! I have tried to figure out ways to get my hubby to church...to believe the way I do....and I guess...I have had it spoken to my heart...that my husband IS a christian....he just believes a little differently in certain areas....He is a catholic...and that doesn't mean he isn't a christian....he was taught things that I don't agree with and don't believe....but I believe with ALL of my heart and soul...that Jesus saved him too....My hubby is coming around little by little...he even makes statements about the end times BEFORE I do...like HE starts the conversation!! THAT is HUGE!! Before he would just walk away from me in midsentence shaking his head! So...to make my point FINALLY...I agree....Routsher!!! We have to trust in JESUS to save our husbands/wives...WE can't do it for them....we are here to worship Jesus...and pray for our spouses...WE can only do that for them...we gotta Let go and Let God.

by **Passion** on Fri Jul 13, 2007 6:11 pm

Kat, that is so awesome! It sounds like he's come a long way.

Kina, I couldn't believe what I was reading today re. you and Mike. That &*^%$#! devil! He so totally +*&$#@ me off I can't see straight! Every time I think about how far you two have come, and then think about what you posted today...... :verymad:

but I'm sure big jerk (Satan, not Mike! :mrgreen:

)would love to see us fuming, as well, so instead of getting mad, I'll get even--with lots of prayer! :praying:

by **ChurchGirl** on Sun Jul 29, 2007 8:55 pm

Hi guys - this is from Melissa - she posted over in the first part of our group.

Melissas210
Joined: 15 Jun 2007
Posts: 42
Location: USA
Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 5:59 pm Post subject:

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No one has posted here since April. But, I have a question...when you say that your spouses have not accepted Jesus as their savior, do you mean they don't believe in him at all? My husband claims to love Jesus and yet his actions and words don't always support that. He makes fun of me for spending my time here and he doesn't believe any of the prophecies. He says these are just someone's interpretation of the bible. Actually, he grew up Catholic and claims to know so much, but I feel he doesn't have a clue. And quite frankly I am tired of being "made fun of" for my beliefs and studies on this subject. Anyone have any suggestions! He has an arguement for everything I say, and I guess God hasn't given me the gift of witnessing yet!! I never have the right thing to say in a discussion of this subject. Help!!!

by **Operator** on Mon Jul 30, 2007 5:32 am

Hey Melissas210,

I'm right there with you. My husband claims to know Christ and was raised Catholic and even though he hasn't been to church in some 20 years - he says he's a "non-practicing" Catholic. I too, struggle with things to say back to him because he has an argument for EVERYTHING. I think it's his gift...he's in the wrong profession...lol (Yes - only thing I can do is laugh now - cuz if I don't - I will cry)

Anyway - Just wanted to let you know - that we are here and will be praying for you and your hubby. I'll pray for you - the same way I'm praying for me...I'll ask God to give us BOTH the gift of witnessing and pray for knowledge so that when our hubbies start acting up - we have just the right words for them.

Hang in there! :hugs:

by **Watching & waiting** on Mon Jul 30, 2007 7:29 am

Here's an answer for you guys. Knowing about Jesus and believing about Him does not necessary make you a christian. Satan knows and believes about Jesus too!!!! It is about believing and placing your hope in Him, following Him and being obedient, making Him Lord and master of your life. Can your husbands say that? Because most people are lords of their own lives..... they submit hardly anything to anybody, let alone Jesus. I can honestly answer you because I was born and raised Catholic and "knew" about Jesus, "believed about Him" and thought I was a "christian".... About 4 years ago, during a really terrible time in my life, I actually got on my knees, quit saying the trite, routine prayers, "Hail Mary" etc. and in my brokeness started talking to Jesus and confessing to him.... and guess what!!! He answered back, thru the holy spirit and totally opened my eyes to what a real relationship with Him is all about. You could say I was born again. Since then I know that through nothing of my hand, I have such a strong desire for everything to do with the word, Jesus, God, the holy spirit, end times, prophecy, the gifts of the spirit, everything holy and Godly. I didn't desire that or seek that, but He put that desire in me.... do they have that desire???? I am not talking about works here, don't get me wrong, but when you truly know Him, there is a desire put in you to know Him more, to follow Him, to press in close.

by **Melissas210** on Mon Jul 30, 2007 8:45 am

Thanks for replying Operater! It is nice to know I am not alone!!

Watching and Waiting,
No my husband does not desire the word or anything else you mentioned. In fact, I just suggested to him yesterday (when he said he was out of reading material) to pick up the bible and try that. He refused of course! What can I do? I do read and quote scriptures to him, but he really doesn't want to hear it! For now I will just have to keep praying. But most of all I will pray that he will not give me a hard time for being "obsessed" with my beliefs!!

Thanks!
Melissa

by **Passion** on Mon Jul 30, 2007 12:40 pm

My husband got saved, and so have other spouses on this board, so don't lose hope!

:praying:

for your husband (and you! :wink:

)....glad you're here!

by **Melissas210** on Tue Jul 31, 2007 8:32 am

Thanks Passion! I appreiate those prayers!! :grin:

by **ChurchGirl** on Tue Jul 31, 2007 8:56 am

pssttt....

Love you guys and praying praying praying.

by **Passion** on Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:00 am

Right back at 'ya, Kina! :hugs:

by **Spreading Salt** on Tue Jul 31, 2007 4:35 pm

Welcome to our group Melissa! I will add you to my "unequally yoked" praying list! Keep looking to Yeshua. He is all we truly need to get through each and every situation. :a2:

by **Melissas210** on Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:08 pm

Thank you Spreading Salt! And to everyone else here! You are all so kind, and knowledgeable. You all have just the right prayers, and I am learning so much from all of you. I thank Yeshua for finding this forum for me! :hugs:

by **ChurchGirl** on Tue Aug 07, 2007 7:29 pm

Hi everyone....just stoppping in to say hello, I love you all....and STILL PRAYING!!

by **nickylouse** on Wed Aug 08, 2007 5:20 pm

Melissa,
No marriages are perfectly yoked. Obviously the more that you disagree concerning God, the more unequal your yoke will be. Think of two oxen who are "hitched" together with a rigid wooden "yoke". In order to do the greatest good for the Kingdom of God, which includes raising a God-fearing family, loving others, ministry, alms-giving and so forth; the two must be pulling in the same direction and complementing one anothers strengths. Some marriages are more unequally-yoked than yours possibly and some are less so.

What I know is that when both spouses draw nearer to God, they are also drawn closer towards one another. For God is the Rock that is unmovable.
... and :wavewelcome:

to our fellowship :praying:

by **Passion** on Thu Aug 09, 2007 1:21 pm

by **Melissas210** on Sat Aug 11, 2007 5:23 am

Thanks for welcoming me Nickylouse! I agree with your post. Some days I feel that I am making some headway, and other days I feel like there is a regression. I will continue professing my "obsession"!

by **Abiding in His Word** on Sat Aug 11, 2007 5:40 am

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to share a confession that (when I think back) I'm quite embarrassed about. :roll:

Reading your posts today reminded me that when I became born again, my husband noticed a change in me, but when he asked what happened, I wasn't sure. But the truth of it is.... I didn't want to tell him. I didn't want him to have the same relationship with the Lord that I did. Of course, it was so new to me that I didn't make a connection to salvation; if I had, I certainly would have wanted him saved!

But having a catholic background, I thought he was saved anyway. So I wanted this new experience all to myself. I thought I was "special" and that was a feeling that was very foreign for me and I didn't want to share it with anyone.

When a newly acquired Christian friend of mine invited him to accompany us to a prayer meeting, I was angry. But he came along and a roman catholic nun witnessed to him and he repented of his sin and turned his life over to the Lord at that prayer meeting.

There's really no point to my post other than to say perhaps even if your husbands don't listen to your testimonies, the Lord will send another messenger who will share the good news. I will pray that he will do this for your spouses as he did for my husband.

Thanks for letting me pop in on your thread.

by **Passion** on Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:36 am

Abiding in His Word wrote: But he came along and a roman catholic nun witnessed to him and he repented of his sin and turned his life over to the Lord at that prayer meeting.

Wow! I've never heard of a Catholic nun doing that--that is so cool! Praise God! :bowing:

BTW, I can totally understand your wanting to keep Jesus all to yourself...... :wink:

by **ChurchGirl** on Sat Aug 11, 2007 1:51 pm

Abiding - your post made me laugh - I remember feeling that way too....more like there is no way Mike oculd understand Jesus the way I did - because I was special....What's cool, is Jesus makes us all feel that special.

My attitude soon changed to - I HAVE THE POWER!!!! And I began secretly blessing people - anyone - I would cross paths with during the day. God bless you - and God bless YOU - I also remember the weekend I accepted Christ - thinking I had won the lottery went out and bought 20 quick picks! LOL! Even funnier - I lost the ticket on the way out of the grocery store to the car.

I still think there is a lesson in that. :alrighty:

I always wonder who found it and got my ba-gillion dollars. LOL.

God is so FAITHFUL - He will be sending in reinforcements for all the walking and witnessing we've been doing for our spouses. He tells us it is so.

P.S. - Love you ALL - and still Praying!

by **Spreading Salt** on Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:54 am

Dear Yeshua,

Please surround our spouses this day with Christian influences, everywhere they go. Touch them today and open their eyes to Your presence. May they know that You are there and You love them. AMen.

by **CrystalClear** on Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:06 pm

*edit*

by **ChurchGirl** on Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:41 pm

CrystalClear!! I can AMEN! to much of what you've said here. Welcome to the club, and welcome to one of the strongest prayer networks I've ever witnessed!

by **Melissas210** on Sun Aug 19, 2007 5:14 pm

Welcome CrystalClear! It is indeed a good feeling to know that you are not alone! I felt the same way when I came here. Everyone is so kind and willing to pray for anything you ask. I really think you will love and appreciate all of the wonderful friends you will make here! I will be praying for you and your "family mission".

by **nickylouse** on Sun Aug 19, 2007 6:28 pm

Dear CC,

You have a very nice attitude. From experience I can tell you that our mission field is best served when we have access to it. If we become removed from everyday living with our spouse (as I have), we lose a very important factor in our witness.

I have a heart for my family the same as you do and I must tell you and anyone else to whom it may apply that it is much harder to serve when your first priority ministry is broken.

In Christ's love,
:praying:

edited: I wanted to clarify that my first statement above is sincere. I read it again and it looked like it could have been taken otherwise.

by **Passion** on Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:44 am

CrystalClear!

So sorry about what you're going through....I think we all can identify, to some extent. But slowly, one at a time, our spouses are getting saved! :praise:

Of course, it usually doesn't happen as soon as we'd like--o.k., never (since we want it yesterday!)--but everything happens in His perfect time.

Hang in there, and we'll be praying for you and your husband!

by **Operator** on Mon Aug 20, 2007 1:12 pm

CrystalClear!

Thanks for sharing with us here in the club! We'll be praying for you and yours... :praying:

by **CrystalClear** on Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:26 pm

*edit*

by **Passion** on Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:37 pm

CrystalClear wrote: If He wants them, they haven't got a bit of say-so in the matter...when it's His time, it's time.

Oops--well, I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said to come out quite like that. :redface:

We all have the free will to choose whether or not we will serve God and become part of His family--just like Adam and Eve had the free will to choose to rebel. I just meant that several of our spouses have made the Right Choice, and we have faith that others will, too--but they never seem to make that choice as soon as we would like! :twoheadbang:

But that everything works out with God's perfect timing.

I hope I'm making a little more sense this time around, but I wouldn't count on it. :bag:

by **CrystalClear** on Mon Aug 20, 2007 5:02 pm

*edit*

by **Passion** on Wed Aug 22, 2007 2:46 pm

No, don't be sorry! I didn't take it as you poking at me at all! :boink:

I just thought I wasn't articulating well, which--like I indicated--is nothing new! :banghead:

Also I can be a bit slow....as I didn't realize you were saying.

Anyway--glad you joined us!

by **CrystalClear** on Thu Aug 23, 2007 5:51 pm

Hi, Passion:

I'm glad things are okay and thanks for the re-welcome. :grin:

Won't it be great to someday be in a place where misunderstandings most likely won't happen? I'm all for that!

Abba's blessings,

CC :grin:

by **ruotsher** on Fri Aug 24, 2007 6:02 am

Welcome CC!! Yes, I too can relate to your post...........Faith, patience and trust in the Lord is what is needed........often much more easily said than done. But this is a great group of people here to talk to and pray with!

by **CarolinaCJ** on Fri Aug 24, 2007 12:13 pm

Wow, I haven't been here in awhile....lot's going on! :grin:

Welcome Melissa and CrystalClear! I have a similiar situation. My husband is a great guy...well, not completely -- we have had some serious issues in 22 yrs, but he is a hard worker and he loves me and the girls and he's very laid back and easy to get along with.

But, we are definately not equally yoked. I can sum it up in his own words... I forced him to join me in a small group once and they did the unforgiveable, they asked us to talk about ourselves and give tell how we came to Christ. (He HATES to have to "share"....but remember, he says he's a Christian so I thought going to a small group Bible study would be ok). When it came time for him to share, he said "I'm Matt, I was saved in jr high, and that's about it". :eek:

It struck me as the truest words he'd ever spoken....I didn't know him in jr high, but I've never seen evidence that Jesus is lord of his life. (Side note....he didn't ever go back and won't go with me again, even though it's a different church). He will attend church and now he's playing on the softball team, but he won't let it go beyond that. It's so frustrating because he doesn't see a need for God in his life unless he's really messed up (and he has, but haven't we all).

Abiding, I am encouraged by your story, after this many years I wonder if I have any influence on him at all. We have recently changed churches (again) because this is the church he wanted to attend in the first place. (I wasn't sure because I was scared off by the "seeker sensitive" tone but I didn't do enough homework.) He loves going to church, so maybe someone there will be able to reach him. (Don't think I won't be inviting the pastor to dinner, and the youth pastor, and anyone else who he might respect and listen to...since he won't join a small group, I'll just have to bring the small group to him....one person at a time! :wink:

)

I will have to check back here more often, it's good to know that I'm not alone.

:spin:

by **Spreading Salt** on Tue Aug 28, 2007 9:51 am

Welcome Crystal Clear!!! I've been away for a wonderful week of Vacation Bible School and it's good to be back. I'll add you to my prayer list sister.

Love to all and hang in there, God is in control!! :a3:

by **Passion** on Tue Aug 28, 2007 11:16 am

CarolinaCJ wrote: When it came time for him to share, he said "I'm Matt, I was saved in jr high, and that's about it". It struck me as the truest words he'd ever spoken....I didn't know him in jr high, but I've never seen evidence that Jesus is lord of his life.

Boy, does that sound familiar! When my husband and I were dating, I used to try to get him to go to church with me sometimes.....he'd always say that "one of these days" he'd go.....and he also told me he was saved in jr. high (although we later found out we attended the same small-town jr. high and high school, only a year apart, and had several mutual friends, we didn't meet 'til our mid-30's). He said that a church-going friend of his invited him to to go with he and his family to see a film about Jesus. Hubby went, and the Gospel was laid out, as well as how to be saved and the ugly alternative. It was the ugly alternative that he said got him, and he prayed along with the others to receive Jesus as his Savior. However, after that, nothing changed. He didn't change. He went through life every bit as pagan as I did. By the time we met, I considered myself a Christian, because I had been attending church on an irregular basis for a few years and believed in Jesus (what a dork I was to think that made me a Christian! :roll:

). But at least I was progressing in the right direction, and by the grace of God, eventually got there! So when we were married about four years after we started dating, I thought I was marrying a Christian, based on what he'd told me. A backslidden Christian perhaps, who wasn't quite ready for church on a regular basis, but a Christian nonetheless. I figured that eventually, since he was a Believer, that he would be convicted and start attending church, reading the Bible, praying, etc. How wrong I was.

A few years ago he happened to be double-checking a small ac/dc t.v. he'd bought (cheap, of course!) to re-sell on eBay. A t.v. he knew darn well worked, as he'd already checked it out. But for some reason he again set it up on the dining table on our boat (where we lived at the time) and turned it on, "just to be sure". I was sitting in the salon reading (on a boat the "living room" is a "salon"! :wink:

) and asked "Why are firing up that thing again--you know it works fine!" But he wanted to check it again, so I just shrugged and kept reading. He flipped through a couple of channels and stopped on one--and even though I'd only just heard of Greg Laurie and seen him once on t.v. (with cable--so don't ask me how he managed to tune into GL without it!), I immediately recognized his voice. I thought to myself "Oh, he'll get disgusted and change the channel now for sure....but it would be nice if he didn't, and listened....." Sure enough, he left it on that channel. I thought I'd go down and join him, but it was almost as if a voice said, "No! Just stay where you are, and be quiet." So I did, and realized that GL was at the end of his sermon, and it dawned on me that he was just about to invite his audience to receive Christ, and I got really excited--but kept my mouth shut! When it was over and my husband turned off the t.v., it was as if I was released to go down and sit by him, so I did.....and he said he had prayed along to receive Jesus, and really meant it! It was awesome! No, he didn't change immediately--but then neither had I. We still had over a year of bad marriage to go through before things began to change, but with lots of prayer and humility, change they did!

Now, looking back at his prayer in jr. high, he says he wasn't saved then. He never became a Christian at that time....the reason being, he said that prayer for one reason and one reason only--to save his butt from the Lake of Fire, and that's it. He didn't want to follow Jesus, didn't want Him to be Lord of his life. Like so many of us (I went through this for awhile too), he wanted Jesus to be his Savior but not his Lord. Now he knows that you can't have one without the other--it's either nothing or the whole enchilada! That's why I sometimes worry about some folks I know who say they've prayed to "receive Jesus", but after a few years there's still no fruit in their lives, no change whatsoever...they're no different than they were before, and I wonder if they realized when they prayed, or realize now, the cost of following Jesus. That He demands we give over all of us--and He demands our obedience.

Oh dear, I'm rambling! :blahblah2:

Sorry.

Anyway, hang in there! Don't ever give up praying for him, and God will do something amazing! :a2:

by **CarolinaCJ** on Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:02 pm

I thought I was marrying a Christian, based on what he'd told me. A backslidden Christian perhaps, who wasn't quite ready for church on a regular basis, but a Christian nonetheless. I figured that eventually, since he was a Believer, that he would be convicted and start attending church, reading the Bible, praying, etc. How wrong I was.

Bingo....this was exactly where I was. In fact, he wouldn't ever go to church with me before we were married (always an excuse) but said "I will go after we're married". :lol:

Boy, was I naive. It was YEARS before he started attending regularly, but he does attend with me now. In fact, one of the really cool things about this new church is that he went by himself one week when the girls and I were out of town. I was speechless!

It's encouraging to hear your story as well, I won't give up praying for him. I know I need to have faith, but sometimes I think "God you don't know him like I know him....he's so stubborn!" :umno:

Ok, so He knows him better than I know him. :bag:

by **CarolinaCJ** on Wed Aug 29, 2007 5:55 am

Quick prayer request....and it may happen before anyone reads this. Matt has been at his job for 21 years and was finally in a place where he could hold a shift with Sundays off. Well, it's very possible that today when they announce the new shift schedules, there will only be two schedules with a Sunday off and he is #4 in seniority which means he would have to work Sunday mornings.

Please pray that this will not happen....two of the guys ahead of him have said they will take the Sunday off shifts, so if there's only two it's a done deal. Just as we find a church that he likes attending, something else comes up to keep him from hearing the Word....

by **Operator** on Wed Aug 29, 2007 6:13 am

by **Passion** on Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:14 pm

It's 1:13 PT! But I'll pray anyway--after all, God exists outside of time!

by **ChurchGirl** on Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:06 pm

too! Holding on to faith that if the Lord deems that your man's gotta not go to this church....it is the best thing. I have faith that.....

Mar 11:23 For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

WHATSOEVER!!!! That means no matter what you guys! It is the Lord's heart that EVERYONE come to repentance!! That everyone be saved...we are the faithful spouses. Stop seeing and start claiming in FAITH their salvation. It WILL happen. In God's time...but it WILL happen!!!!
:a3:

by **lime** on Sat Sep 01, 2007 2:43 am

Please pray for my husband to! in Christ Lime

by **CarolinaCJ** on Sat Sep 01, 2007 4:35 am

for your husband Lime! Welcome!

:hugs:

update -- the schedule came out and there are only two options for days with Sundays off. He has said he won't take a night shift, so it looks like he will be working Sunday mornings.

Kina, I guess I need some of your faith. Maybe that's what's wrong....you're getting me to really look at what I believe about prayer because I am not sure. I know that we are supposed to pray, so I am doing my part but the rest is up to God. I know it's God's will for Matt to walk closely with Him, but I also believe that Matt has free will....my prayer is that God will draw him. I believe God can do ANYTHING, but Matt has to choose. That's where my lack of faith comes in.

I am going to have to pray that I can believe this is possible for MY husband....maybe God wants to change my prayer life (and possibly my attitude :grrr:

).

by **lime** on Sat Sep 01, 2007 5:49 am

CarolinaCJ Thanks for praying for my husband! I really need him to come to Christ. I am praying for all of you here that your spouses also will come to Christ and that jesus will remove the weil in front of their eyes so that they can see.......
:a3:

by **Sue-M** on Sat Sep 01, 2007 6:50 am

Passion, I cried when I read what happened to your husband with the tv set. That was so awesome!

Can I join this club. This is hard for me. I am at a point right now where I don't even care if my husband is saved or not.

The way that we first met was he asked me to go out. I told him that I couldn't go out with him because he needed to be saved. I asked him to go to the Bible study that I was going to. He came to the Bible study with me. A few weeks passed and he told me that he asked Jesus into his heart. First lie to me.

I prayed about it and felt that I was being led to marry him. So, we married.

The first night of the honeymoon, I found out that he was impotent. I was so angry. I asked him why didn't he tell me before we got married and he said that he didn't know. Second lie to me.

It was more than 4 years into the marriage that he even attempted to do anything about this situation. He told me that he didn't have the money to see what the problem was. However, he had money for other things, such as paying the landscaping guy for the huge display of flowers around the house. I was hurt. Third lie to me.

He has since gone to the doctor and got medicine and shots. But, there are so many things that have to happen before a woman can want to make love to someone. Showers and brushing teeth help. He rarely does either. I think to myself, he did these when we were dating. Did he purposely deceive me so that I would marry him?

We had planned before we got married to both sell our houses and buy a house together. This was because he didn't like my house and because his house didn't have enough bedrooms for my kids. It was hard because I had a boy and a girl and they were at the age then of needing seperate bedrooms. I soon found out that he had three mortgages on his house and 4-5 personal loans. He owed so much money to everyone that it would cost thousands to just sell his house. Another lie to me.

Over the course of the marriage, I began to notice that he would tell me of certain plans that he was thinking about doing. I noticed that if there was something that I objected to, he would still go ahead and do what he was planning. I have been complaing over and over again to him that I feel very invisible in this marriage. He claims that he does everthing for both of us. But, I tell him that he doesn't consider me in his planning. He may think that he's doing things for me, but, how can it be for me when he doesn't consider what I want.

I have always let this last thing go. But, something happened a few weeks ago and I have completely lost trust in him.

We have since sold his house (I lost my house because of other circumstances) and we now live in a trailer. I don't care where we live. But, I say this because we live in a community where they inspect the outside of our home and we have to keep it nice on the outside.

We received notice that the "community" didn't like the colors of our house. They didn't think that they "matched". My husband read the notice and was furious. I was also. I asked him three times, if he calls them, I wanted to listen on the other phone. Later that day, he went out to "run an errand". But, on the way home, he stopped at the office to discuss the notice. He also told the office about something that I heard from the neighbors. What I heard from the neighbors was totally between me and him. I didn't want him to tell them that I heard this. He comes home and tells me all that he said to the "office". I couldn't believe it. I feel, again, he disregarded that I asked to be included in this discussion. And then, I feel that he betrayed me by talking to them (without me being there) about me and what I heard from the neighbors. I told him that I was very upset that he did this. He said that he did it this way because he didn't want me to get all angry and start yelling at them. But, I wasn't planning on doing that at all. He led me to believe that he would include me in this conversation with the office and then did what he wanted anyway.

Anyway, since this, he's been carrying on as usual. I haven't spoken to him at all for 3 weeks now. And, he's acting like all is well. He knows I am angry at him because after he told me what he said to the office, he said, now go ahead and be angry. But, yet, it doesn't even seem like he cares that I am angry.

This (ignoring me) is still continuing. He noticed that two keys were broken off of my laptop computer. He came home last week and told me that he was taking my laptop with him next week because his nephew is going to fix the keys. I appreciate it, but, I was not considered. I don't want his nephew looking at my computer. Also, he just came home this morning and I heard him on the phone with the mechanic asking him if he can bring my car in for an oil change. He didn't even ask me if I had plans which involved using my car.

I know this is long. I am sorry. I am trying to determine if I have done something wrong here. Is my heart being hardened? Am I being stubborn in demanding to be included in the planning of things? I wonder, in other marriages, how do you all work these things out? Does your husband ask you what you want and then go against what you say?

I am so depressed. I no longer can pray for him. I don't trust him anymore. I don't even feel that he's my friend and I feel that I live in the enemy's house. And I don't even know if it's me or him that's in the wrong. I am not even sure if I am making more out of all of this then I need to. Should I just forgive it all and forget? I am so struggling.

by **Sue-M** on Sat Sep 01, 2007 6:51 am

why did it post 2xs

by **Operator** on Sat Sep 01, 2007 6:52 am

Just checking in this morning...

Lime - I'm praing for your husband and for you to stay strong in your faith!

CaolinaCJ - Keep the faith girl! I'm still praying for your situation too!

Love you guys! You all keep me motivated and whenever I have trials here at home with my hubby - I think of all of you - and I say a prayer!

I have to say one more thing. I know that Rich is listening to what I've been saying. I have not tried to push anything on him, but when he tells me stories sometimes about how mean people are - or when he says something not so nice, sometimes I will say..."Jesus loves them" or just a little comment like that. And let it be...Well, we sort of got into it pretty bad yesterday and I had to ask forgiveness because he knows just how to push my buttons and it just gets my blood boiling. Well, at one point during our heated episode - he looked at me and said..."God Loves You!" I don't know if he was being sarcastic or what - but I'll look at it like this...Anything I say and do, he DOES see it and maybe I'm rubbing off on him - a little at a time.

Keep praying everyone! I need it too!

Unequally Yoked Spouses Club (cont.)

This is the kind of faith I've been talking about

Mike's talking about leaving me!

Introduction

Thank you!

Re: Thank you!

Re: Thank you!

Glad we're clear...

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