Divorce

by **MarvelousMom** on Tue Sep 05, 2006 8:49 pm

Attention Prayer Warriors:

Prayer Request: I have a meeting this week with my husband to discuss a divorce property settlement (4 year separation). I am nervous. (What an understatement! LOL)

Please pray for my safety, wisdom, understanding, clear & concise language when speaking, and silence at all other times. Also, Please pray for his salvation.

This is my 12th proposal to him. I have no idea what he doesn’t like about the settlement. Neither does my lawyer nor his current lawyer. His 1st lawyer fired him. We have been to court six times. It keeps dragging out and we are still married on paper.

I have dropped the abuse & adultery charges, despite all the proof and his admission. I am agreeing to joint custody of our children, a token amount as child support and only asking to split a small portion of the assets.

It has been a long, expensive ordeal. It has affected my health. Sometimes I am bitter. His selfishness has hurt our children tremendously. Surviving Katrina was nothing to surviving this storm.
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Background: Divorce is due to emotional, verbal, and physical abuse & his adultery w/ many women. (Praise: I am still alive and able to help others in similar circumstances)

We dated for 3+ years, were married for 12+ years, have been separated for 4 years. Husband is unsaved. Almost 2 years ago, he was fired from his job after 20+ years as an engineer with a Fortune 500 company due to anger management & sexual harassment issues. He is still unemployed and lives off a sizable trust fund. He has bipolar disorder and does not take his meds. Although we are still married, he lives with a current girlfriend and her 5-year-old son.

Our boys are now 12 & 14 and they live with me. Both children are Christians and are growing leaps and bounds in their faith. The boys receive no support from their dad. He cancels more than he spends time with them. My parents and brothers stepped up to the plate to help with my children in the latter part of the marriage when the abuse became evident. (Thank you, Lord for providing safe haven and rescuing us from harm.)

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Praise: I must recognize that my husband actually agreed to meet & discuss this proposal! This is a first... (Answered prayer. Praise the Lord.) I am hand delivering it to him because he does not open or read his mail. I plan to sit in public restaurant while he reads the draft. Two friends will dine nearby and the police may have a patrol unit nearby. (Not yet confirmed)

Another Praise: God has taken this entire situation and used it for His good!!!
I have facilitated a DivorceCare program for 2+ years, recently began a new Sunday school class for single mothers (seeded from my women’s Sunday school class for those in unequally yoked marriages started in 2000). I’ve been blessed to watch several marriages restored and husbands saved.

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So many people are hurting. That's why I'm willing to be transparent with you. Remember, God uses broken people-if we allow Him and give Him Lordship over our lives.

by **Salty Skipper** on Tue Sep 05, 2006 8:53 pm

MMOM!

Thank you for letting the Lord use you. I pray that this situation will be resolved to the glory of God. Also, I pray that your ministry will continue to grow and bring glory to the Lord. The Lord is able to carry your children as well.

:praying:

Salty

by **AndCanItBe** on Tue Sep 05, 2006 8:56 pm

by **sacredcowbasher** on Tue Sep 05, 2006 9:08 pm

MMom, thanks for sharing. I said I wouldn't add anyone else to my prayer list due to being so tired lately, but I must make an exception. I know what its like to go through divorce. Thankfully I was only married 18 months. I am happy for you to be away from him. God bless you and the kids in many ways.

by **sacredcowbasher** on Tue Sep 05, 2006 9:47 pm

Proverbs 20

14 "It's no good, it's no good!" says the buyer;
then off he goes and boasts about his purchase.

18 Make plans by seeking advice;
if you wage war, obtain guidance.

You're a wise lady to get the help that you have. I saw this in my nightly devotion and it made me think of your situation.

by **Watching & waiting** on Wed Sep 06, 2006 7:21 am

Wow your situation sounds very similar to mine. I will definately be praying for you. I have a court date with my ex coming up soon also as he is trying to get child support lowered ( he hasn't paid anything in a year) & visitation (hasn't seen kids in 9 months) among other things he is trying to take $ from me & wants claim to part of our house. I praise God that he has gotten me through the last 3 years of seperation & my recent decision to finally go thru with the divorce. I will definately keep you in my prayers. :armor:

by **MarvelousMom** on Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:03 am

Hi Watching & waiting,

I'll be praying for you!!!
I'm so glad God is in Control. Aren't you? As His child, He cares for us as only our Abba Father can.

Satan wants us to be doubtful...questioning ourselves, questioning God's ability to provide for our every need.

For anyone else who is dealing with this issue or has a family member or friend going through a divorce, remember healing from divorce is not easy. It’s a long, sometimes painful process. Some suggestions that can make a big difference in your progress toward healing: LINK

1) Build a Support Team
Don’t try to go through separation or divorce alone. Link up with a DivorceCare divorce recovery support group. It's Christ centered and Biblically based. It’s a place where you’ll find caring people who understand the issues you face.

2) The Foundation for Healing
Your progress can be slowed or stopped if you don’t build on the right foundation.

3) Get Help for Your Children. DC4Kids really helped my children. I'm so thankful for that ministry.

Sisters in Christ,

by **MarvelousMom** on Wed Sep 06, 2006 9:57 am

The meeting with my husband has been postponed.
Trusting God in this matter. Started praying this AM that God would close doors to any danger and that God's will be done...

Uncertain how to pray for John right now. God loves him, too. My boys and I know their father needs a personal relationship with Christ. However, it is his choice to make. John is very unhappy and seeking affirmation & worth in all the WRONG places.

Question: When does one's heart become SO HARD that they cannot see their need for Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior???

by **Rte66** on Wed Sep 06, 2006 3:15 pm

MM

I'm saddened to hear of these trials. I will pray for you.

by **Watching & waiting** on Thu Sep 07, 2006 7:14 am

by **proparent** on Thu Sep 07, 2006 11:06 am

Praying that our Lord will lead and guide you, tenderly carrying you if needed.

Love, In Christ,
Lisa

by **sherrimae** on Sun Sep 10, 2006 1:21 pm

Praying for you also.

by **Lookfortruth** on Sun Sep 10, 2006 1:59 pm

Still

by **MarvelousMom** on Mon Sep 11, 2006 8:47 pm

Thank you for your prayers!!!

Here's an update: Hooray, we rescheduled a meeting to review our 12th divorce property settlement.

I still need your prayers. I'm meeting with my husband on Tuesday @ 1:00 PM (central time) at a local restaurant. This way I know he has read it and hopefully he'll give feedback or simply agree to sign it. Three friends/ prayer partners will be dining at a nearby table. A patrol unit from the Police Dept has agreed to be in the vicinity.

Again, please pray for my safety. May God grant me courage and peace as I meet with John, silence as he reads the proposal, wisdom and discernment during the process and of course, for God's will to be done. Most importantly, please pray for John's salvation. He needs Jesus Christ as his personal Savior. His reckless lifestyle negatively influences our 12 & 14 yr old boys. I am personally praying for miracles. -So glad God is still in the miracle business!

This has been a long journey (~4 years). I know God has carried the boys and me this entire time. Whether there is closure now, or next month, or next year, May God be glorified. Thank you for the encouragement you have given me.

Your sister in Christ,

Kathy

by **OBXBob** on Mon Sep 11, 2006 8:49 pm

Blessings,

Bob

by **Abiding in His Word** on Mon Sep 11, 2006 8:56 pm

My prayers are with you during these difficult times.

:praying:

by **MarvelousMom** on Mon Sep 11, 2006 10:09 pm

Watching & waiting wrote: I have a court date with my ex coming up soon

Give me a heads up before your court date and any prelim meetings. We'll pray you through this TOGETHER!!!

by **ChurchGirl** on Tue Sep 12, 2006 12:19 am

Kathy - Sister...praying fervently for you...and in agreement with you....
:armor:

by **jr1rimshot** on Tue Sep 12, 2006 11:37 am

It is 2:30 pm eastern time and I'm praying Eph 3:16 "I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being."

by **Salty Skipper** on Tue Sep 12, 2006 11:46 am

I'm praying too, MMom! Perhaps you are still in the meeting...keep us posted.

by **MarvelousMom** on Tue Sep 12, 2006 1:20 pm

Amazing! I felt such a peace during the meeting--quite opposite from John's nervous behavior---Thank you for your prayers!!!

We made some headway in the settlement. At least there are no custody issues, only financial. He is not financially savvy, he really does not understand how good of a settlement he has in front of him. REALLY GOOD, probably too good.

The current game plan is for him to speak with his lawyer this week and get back to me before Friday, Sep 22. At this time, I am praying for John to not procrastinate on meeting with his lawyer, and for his lawyer to wisely inform John that this proposal is better than he could ever get in court.

Thank you for your prayers. I haven't felt this safe around John in years!!!

by **ChurchGirl** on Sat Sep 23, 2006 11:25 am

Marvelous Mom, you are still in our prayers...how have things progressed?

by **BeTheMoon** on Mon Sep 25, 2006 6:50 am

by **MarvelousMom** on Mon Sep 25, 2006 7:54 am

Thank you all for your prayers! The Friday meeting was cancelled late Thursday by my husband---he had not gotten around to talking with his lawyer about the proposal. Although, he told me he dropped it off on the day we met (9/12).
:dunno:

I simply document and have learned I must set deadlines with him. Reminded him Thursday, in writing, that the deadline for this proposal is Tuesday, 9/26/06 at 5:00 P.M. After that time, the financial incentives $$$ I've offered him are off the table.

It's sad. These days 2 Timothy 3:1-9 describes him completely.

I am learning patience. Continuing to lean on God and seek His Will.
Not sure what to pray for now...just God's Will to be done.

(Just wish I knew where we are in this process: If I am in the bottom of the ninth inning
or if I am still stuck in the middle of the seventh inning stretch)

by **BeTheMoon** on Mon Sep 25, 2006 8:02 am

I am learning patience. Continuing to lean on God and seek His Will.
Not sure what to pray for now...just God's Will to be done.

What a tremendous example you are, MM! Resting in Him is the BEST place to be.

Divorce

Divorce

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